by Khalilah T. Muhammad
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.—Proverbs 31:10-12
“Sister Farrakhan is sweet and pleasant all the time.”
—The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan—August 6, 1996, “What is your role?”
“I was nourished by her love.”—Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) on his wife, Khadijah
It is with a heavy heart, like the rest of the world, that I am reflecting upon the profound, divine and incomparable presence of Mother Khadijah Farrakhan in my life. Although I was too shy to truly express to her, in person, how much she inspired me, all the important people in my life know just how special she was to me.
I am so grateful to Allah (God) for her phenomenal example of what it means to be a Muslim woman, and I can recall so many instances where I learned a lesson from her. For some of my more recent stages of growth and development, I often found myself listening to the words of the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan speaking about his beloved wife.
It is from the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan’s descriptions of Mother Khadijah that I often find my answers. Selflessness is learned by how Minister Farrakhan explains why he named her Khadijah:
“My wife has been with me through all my strivings, she knew me in the days of my ignorance, and she knows me in the days of my struggle and striving, and when I first decided to rebuild the work of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad, and I came home and talked with her, she was the first out of my family, to say, go on with it.
I am with you. So as Khadijah was with Prophet Muhammad, so was my wife with me. So, I would like from this day forward like the wife of that noble servant of Allah, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), for my wife to wear the name, ‘Khadijah.’”
Being a good student is learned by how Minister Farrakhan spoke about Mother Khadijah. One day he said that “the Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught her how to help me become a man. I was not always the man I am today. … He also told her to go out and make friends for me.”
From her beautiful example, we can all learn how to be a good help meet; as explained in 2023 at the National Training Seminar, when the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan said, “I have to stop when she comes in, because she is the most wonderful friend and wife that a man could have, to hold a position that God placed me in. And I couldn’t handle that without somebody by my side who helps me and that is Mother Khadijah.”
Mother Khadijah was a woman who put her complete trust in Allah, who came in the person of Master Fard Muhammad, the Lifegiving Teachings of the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, in her daily life.
She was a woman whose extraordinary wisdom, obedience and guidance helped to rebuild a Nation and to support her husband, who continued to evolve right before her eyes, as he continued to fulfill the mission given to the Eternal Leader of the Nation of Islam, the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, to resurrect a mentally dead people.
To be blessed to be around Mother Khadijah, or to quietly observe her from afar, was like being in the classroom made by Allah, for all women and girls. She taught us how to be dignified, patient, wise, kind, discerning, magnetic, graceful, pleasant, and sweet.
Her sweetness could be felt the moment you were in her presence, whether it was the warm hug that she gave you, her melodic greeting of peace peppered with her lovely Boston accent.
The gentle way she would offer her hand to let you know that she wanted your company, or her beautiful smile that could be likened to the good word of the day or that magical wink that she would give you from across the room.
Her gracefulness manifested itself in her walk and impeccable style of dress. Mother Khadijah taught us all how to be modestly beautiful and to always add a little sparkle and shine.
Often, as I was faced with little trials or what I deemed to be insurmountable challenges in my life, I would ask myself, “What would Mother Khadijah do?”
One day I was able to share my thoughts with her and to ask this very question. And Mother Khadijah said, “Trust in Allah, make Allah number one in your life, and do not let anyone occupy His Place in your life.”
As I sit here writing this reflection, it is her beautiful words and the other words she shared with me that have inspired me to write about her. I am going to Trust in Allah. Knowing that He is indeed The Best Knower.
As Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has been quoted as saying about the love of his life, Khadijah, let us all be “nourished by her love.” We will miss you, Mother Khadijah; I will miss you, Mother Khadijah. I will continue to relish your love.
Sister Khalilah T. Muhammad, Ph.D., is an associate professor of English at Olive-Harvey College in Chicago. She is also an award-winning educator, researcher, published author, editor for the Table Talks project, instructor in the Orientation Class and a student in the Ministry Class at Mosque Maryam.