by Sandra Muhammad
LINTHICUM HEIGHTS, Md.—Baltimore’s annual Black Marriage Day event attracted a group of mostly single men and women in search of knowledge and critical information to unlock the principles needed to build strong marriages and relationships.
The event themed, “Securing a Real Future, Through Faith-Centered Courtship and Marriage,” was held March 25 in Linthicum Heights, Maryland. Subjects discussed included: rules of engagement, a proper courtship and real engagement/lasting marriage.
“Black women are the least married women,” said Leslie Muhammad of the Wedded Bliss Foundation. She said Black women once were number one in marriage, but post-slavery marriage levels are on a decline and divorce is on the rise among Black people. It is important to understand the value of marriage as a spiritual secret sanctuary that is critical to the development and building of our Nation, she said.
Topics of discussion included marriage, courtship and Black male/female relationships, among others. Panelists said courtship is a process to present your case and tell who you are. Don’t wait to ask questions after you have gotten engaged; ask the proper questions before you enter engagement, and don’t ignore “red flag warnings.”
The evening’s keynote speaker was Nation of Islam Student Minister Nuri Muhammad. Quoting the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, Minister Nuri Muhammad said, “Divorce is a threat to our National Security.”
Min. Farrakhan has told us to make a list of your ideal man or your ideal woman and check off that list; if your mate meets 70 percent of your expectations, then you can work with the other 30 percent, he continued. The student minister said to look for the spiritual characteristics of your ideal mate. No question during the courtship process is off limits, he said. You must interview family, friends and children. Oftentimes what they say is not what you want to hear, he cautioned.
Minister Nuri Muhammad also spoke about blended families. He said when a man marries a woman, he marries her children and vice versa. If your mate cannot get along with your children, it’s a deal breaker. You must be about the business of winning the love and heart of the children, he said.
There is a process that includes the children, he said. Keep them involved and allow them to express their feelings toward marriage and family. Consider their like or dislike for your future mate, he said.
Marriage is a holy matrimony and a spiritual process that is half your faith, Min. Nuri Muhammad explained. Man and woman are created in pairs, we are the twin half of a single essence, he said.
Marriage should be so honored to where husband and wife grow closer to God and closer to one another. Faith is the bond that holds it together, he said.
Citing that “marriage is teamwork and teamwork makes the dream work,” the Indianapolis student minister said the home should be a spiritual recharge center where there exists a pure source of love. If a man is out trying to conquer the world for his family, the last thing he wants is to come home to fight his wife and family, Min. Nuri Muhammad said.
We must respect each other and learn the love language of our mate. Not only should you love your mate, but you should also like your mate, he said. You should be friends.
A man is not an ATM machine who just pays the bills and comes home every night; and a woman is not a maid, cook, or housewife, he continued. You shouldn’t have such a strict regimen; there’s no excitement in that, he said. If your marriage is not fun, you are not doing it right, he said.
Women have been a one-man woman, but men have not been a one-woman man, he said. He compared the woman to a rose compared to the nature of a man. A man might look hard on the outside, but he is not as hard as he might look on the inside. We must complement each other’s nature and love the science and art of mating, he said.
This is one secret that was kept from Black people, but to save our nation we must learn to build our team rooted in God and learn and study these helpful tools to inspire marriage in the Black community, Min. Nuri Muhammad said.
Black Marriage Day was an inspiring event that encourages respect and the desire for successful Black relationships. Minister Nuri Muhammad delivered a priceless message to those seeking mates. He has written books on the topic of marriage and was available along with his beautiful wife Sister Terri Muhammad to autograph those books.
The Black male/female relationships event was part of an extensive weekend of outreach and community engagement hosted by the Laborers and Believers of Muhammad Mosque No. 6 in Baltimore. Stay tuned for additional coverage from these efforts in future editions of The Final Call.